desolate
by reviee
Summary: KAKARIN. She was a myriad of contradictions.


**a/n: **Happy holidays everybody! This will be my last fic for the year! I can't believe what a year it has been for my writing. This is my take on Kakashi and Rin, which I thought was hard to think up a plot for, but whom I infinitely adore. I feel like Obito's death would prevent Kakashi from making a move. And, I decided to be a little naughty and write some smut for them.

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**desolate**

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"Kakashi!"

It was Rin. It was always Rin. She was always there—waiting for him, smiling at him. For him, it was normal. He didn't even have an opinion on it anymore. It simply was. She nearly knocked him over when she tackled him in a hug. Her arms wrapped around his neck like a vice and immediately her scent overwhelmed him. She smelled sweet, like she had slathered a sugary lotion on after a hot bath. His hands instinctively gripped her waist to keep her upright.

"…Rin," he struggled, "You're suffocating me."

Rin laughed and planted her feet back on the ground. "Sorry, Kakashi. I'm glad you're back."

She kept her hands on his lower back. It was intimate, much more than he'd like. She clung to him a lot. Kakashi pulled his ANBU mask off the top of his head. She was looking at him as if she was expecting something. He got that feeling from Rin often. It unsettled him, but at the same time, he wanted to give her the world. He would, too. He would do anything for Rin, as long as it made her happy.

"How was your mission?" She chirped, her eyes sparkling.

Kakashi stared back at her. No matter how many times he looked away, he ended up looking back. Rin had that kind of effect on him. She was a myriad of contradictions. He squeezed her waist and gently pushed her away.

"I'll come by after I report to Hokage-sama."

She nodded eagerly. "I'll make dinner. Take a shower before you come!"

She skipped off towards her apartment before he could even say anything. Rin was always bouncing around. She was dedicated and gave everything her all, with a smile. She never had any regrets. She was good at keeping everyone's spirits up. She kept his intact, at least.

Rin's apartment was relatively close to his. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought of her when he was buying it. It was important for him to be able to protect her at all times. Without her, he felt like there was a void in his life. It took him five minutes to walk there, two minutes to sprint.

"Rin?"

Kakashi pushed the door open, poking his head through the entrance. She must've left the door unlocked for him. It took him an hour to report to the Hokage and go home to shower. He was now freshly washed, with his hair sticking out in odd places. He had on his civilian clothes—some loose sweatpants and a navy sweater. He always felt vulnerable when he wore these clothes. It almost felt like he was naked. Rin was probably the only person who got to see him in them.

"I'm in here!" She shouted from the kitchen, where he smelled mouth-watering dishes.

Kakashi padded over to her, fighting the urge to place a hand on her hip. It was too intimate. It would be wrong. He settled on standing next to her and not bumping shoulders. She didn't seem to notice. She turned to him, smiling brightly like always, and raised a spatula to his lips.

"Try this. It's a new sauce." Rin parted her lips slightly, tipping her head back and completely making Kakashi uncomfortable.

"IT's excellent." His eye crinkled.

Everything Rin made was excellent. He believed that even if she did make a shitty sauce, he wouldn't know. She made everything better; coloured his gray world, brightened his dark skies. That was her role in his life. It hadn't always been that way. He used to have others, too, but they slowly drifted away and back. Rin was always there.

"Really?" Her face completely lit up, then she turned back to her cooking, eagerly stirring. "That's good, because I thought I'd try something new for a change, but you know, I was a little worried it wouldn't turn out well."

"Everything you do turns out well." Kakashi scoffed and brushed away an urge to press a chaste kiss to her head.

It was true. Rin was disturbingly good at whatever she did, especially when she put her mind to it. That was the reason why she learned advanced medical ninjutsu at such a young age. His hand caressed his covered eye. It was thanks to her that he could have this eye. The urge to show her affection crept up again and he pushed it away.

"I'll set the table." He announced, pushing away from her to get plates and utensils.

When they finally sat down to have dinner, Kakashi was feeling hot. He didn't hear much of anything Rin said. Words merely drifted through him, but her laughter rang in his ears. The sound made him feel lighter. He was concentrated on the way her lips moved when she chewed and the way her delicate fingers grasped the chopsticks. He wanted to kiss her and hold her hand.

He dried the dishes while she washed them. She was still chattering and her voice continued to ring in his ears, putting him in a daze. He barely saw the dishes he dried and couldn't feel them. He was acutely aware of her scent. She smelled like cotton candy—light and sugary.

They settle on the couch. Rin prepared tea, so they each held a cup in their hands. She sat cross legged next to him. The tea was warm in his belly, soothing his throat as it went down. His mind started to drift and his shoulder relaxed. He was getting tired.

Kakashi often sought Rin's company when he slept. He hadn't slept well in a while—recalling bad memories alone in the empty house he lived in. He never slept over, but the thought of her warm smile lulled him to sleep. As his eyes drooped, he concentrated on her scent. He didn't think he would—or could—ever forget it.

"I miss him sometimes." She mentioned, leaning her head back on the couch. She didn't even look at him.

Rin was the one who broke down the wall that they had built. It was her fault, he mused, as he shifted his position and leaned over her. He slipped his hand behind her neck, pulling her closer and angling his head so that her lips met his. She was the one who broke the dam, causing the waves of pent-up emotions to flow through.

Kakashi kissed her, without any reservations. He was going to hold her hand and breathe in her scent as much as he wanted. He was going to hear the sounds she made, feel her tremble under him. He wasn't going to hold back anymore, because he wanted to.

He wanted it so badly.

His fingers combed through her hair, lightly tugging at the strands. She tilted her head back, opening up for him. That made him hard. Rin was always so sweet. He kissed her harder; fingers pressing into her scalp, moving down to her neck. She let out a small gasp when his middle finger slipped under her skirt, past the waistband of her underwear and shorts.

Kakashi released her for a moment. He didn't meet her eyes, but he looked at the way her hair was mussed and the way her clothes wrinkled. He pushed a strand of hair aside and watched the way she bit her lip. He sucked in a breath and pressed his lips to the side of her neck, lightly nipping at the skin.

Rin sighed, leaning back on the couch, craning her neck. Kakashi was fueled by these things. He couldn't stop. Soon enough, he was pulling off her shorts and her underwear and sliding them down her legs. He flung them aside, his lips trailing down her collarbone.

There were no words; just heavy breathing between them. Rin understood, he suspected. She had understood all along. He wouldn't have been surprised. He had been harboring these affections for a long time. He'd been around Rin for a long time and she had a knack for deciphering his moods. He kissed her again, this time slowly, savoring the sensations that coursed through him.

When she wrapped her legs around him and mewled, it was the last straw for Kakashi. He was going to take sweet, sweet Rin and flip her world around.

When her fingers tentatively reached out to tug his pants aside, his heart almost stopped. She gently coaxed him. He breathed out, rocking against her.

He kept her clothes on. He felt her through the material of her dress. The thump of her heart didn't feel any less real and the heat of her body didn't warm him any less. He breathed in her scent, indulging himself. He spread her open, so that every inch of her was available to his touch and his eyes. Sucking in a breath, he filled her, pushing into her until she was so full of him.

Rin was crying out. Her breathy moans echoed next to his ear, her fingers digging into his scalp. He kissed her neck and whispered words of reassurance against her skin. Kakashi could feel her skin starting to get sticky with sweat. He gripped her hips, slowly rocking her forward to meet his.

It wasn't magical or sparkling, but he felt satisfied. He felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders, like he had finally done what he was supposed to do. As he watched Rin's face contort in expressions he'd never seen before, it made his heart swell. Under his palm, he could feel the hard beat of her heart.

It was the first time he'd felt so free in a long time.

Her mewls escalated into gasps. Kakashi could feel her close around him, tightening until he couldn't breathe.

He groaned, pushing into her one last time before he fell over her. His lips brushed her ear, his breath puffing against her skin.

"Kakashi…" she breathed, and it scared him, because it was the first time she'd spoken since he began touching her.

He grunted, laying his head on her chest and began tracing lazy circles on her shoulder.

"Are you going to stay tonight?" Rin's voice didn't even waver—she sounded as if she was offering him more.

She was, probably. Kakashi would take it all, without hesitation, too, as long as she kept offering. The hand that was tracing circles on her shoulder trailed up to her neck. He stroked the soft skin there, eyes focused on the fine lines. He would stay here forever if it meant being with her.

"Aa… yeah, I am." Kakashi affirmed, pressing a lazy kiss to her jaw.


End file.
